Believing in Hope
by DenizenofTwilight
Summary: Spoilers for the novella/audio drama. In their last days before having to face Sin again, Yuna is falling apart at the seams, via all she feels responsible for and all she's holding back. But when Tidus stumbles into her room again, the two realize it might just be time to mend their bridges. But most of all… to take up their parts of the bonded Summoner and Guardian again.


**Believing in Hope**

"I guess I shouldn't be surprised that you would come spy on me again like this," said Yuna with a wry smile on her face, as Tidus—as fate would have it—came spilling through her bedroom door once again: completely failing and subterfuge.

Tidus, obviously much more flustered than Yuna was for the situation, was quick to rub the back of his awkwardly, as he began muttering excuses. "Oh, uhh, hey. Hi, Yuna... I was- I was just wondering if maybe we could beat Sin like we did last time, you know?"

Once upon a time, Yuna might have commented on how cute and endearing Tidus' spluttering was. Not now, though. Not now, when she'd made so many mistakes, and there was so much at stake...

As worriment shone in her green and blue eyes, on display for anyone to possibly see, Yuna thought that maybe she should have just pushed him away...

"I wish we could, but I... Well, for one thing, we don't know if Sir Jecht is Sin again. And in that, the Hymn may not be able to calm Sin like before. Which is really the only advantage we had last time.

"Now," Yuna began, as she purposefully strode away from Tidus, and back towards her bed (making sure to keep her eyes averted from him, all the while). "Do you mind telling me why you're really here?" And it took all of the willpower that Yuna had within herself, to not turn around and face Tidus with her hands behind her back, like she had the first time they'd spoken of Zanarkand, what felt like a lifetime ago.

"I don't believe that you don't love me," Tidus said at once, as his eyes bore into Yuna's back almost painfully. But then when she turned to face him, Yuna wagered that the one who was really hurting was Tidus. Once again, Tidus was hurting because of her, and it was painful to know that there was nothing she could do about it.

Even if... even if she was irked that he now meant to tell her what she should or shouldn't feel, like the rest of Spira did.

"I thought about it, Yuna, and I realized that you're trying to keep your distance from me, like on your first pilgrimage. And I know you, Yuna... You're only selfish, when it comes to sacrificing yourself despite what your loved ones want for you."

And there it was, just like Yuna had thought it would be: the proof that Tidus wanted to dictate her life just like everyone else. Even if... even if his intentions were only out of love and caring.

"You... you don't want me to try to save you this time, is that it? Because you think we can't fight fate twice? Or do you not want me to be your final aeon, because you know I would be. Is that it?"

"I-" He was dangerously close to knowing the truth now, the High Summoner knew. And as she began playing with a loose strand on her skirt, desperately trying to fight against all the emotions inside of her, and what she wanted to say and do, Yuna realized with horror that an aeon was _exactly_ what Tidus had become: as she herself had summoned him back to life.

And now in a world where Sin was back, but no aeons, Yuna couldn't even bare to think what people would want Tidus to sacrifice to save them. It would be like blood in the water, and she would not let him—or anyone, for that matter—know that. She would find some other way to defeat Sin again. She... she had to. As he had fought so hard to save her last time, now would Yuna fight to protect Tidus from the type of sacrifice she herself had meant to make.

But as it happened, Tidus still knew Yuna better than she even knew herself, and it didn't take long for him to see past her pretenses, as he crossed the room to sit beside her, and put a hand on her shoulder—something of which the High Summoner's body was far too quick to react to, as she remembered all the other times and ways he'd touched her in the past.

Praying to the fayth that they would help her keep this secret, she turned to Tidus with fake hate in her eyes. It didn't seem to persuade him at all, however, as he continued on with his far too right guesses. "Wait a minute. That look in your eyes a minute ago, Yuna… It's- it's something more than what I just said, isn't it? Tell me what's going on, Yuna. _Please_."

And it was the pleading in Tidus' voice—and the almost vacant look in his eyes, as he tried to numb himself to the pain of it all—that almost caused Yuna to break down and tell him in the truth, as she put her hand atop his, against her better judgment.

It would be that slip that led her to hurting the Blitzer more than she ever had before. "I- I can't, Tidus. I just don't love you anymore, okay? So please respect that, and know that that's what this is about. And if you ever truly loved and trusted me, you will drop this now. T-T-Tidus?"

Oh no. What was this new look in his eyes? Yuna wondered, as she chanced a look at Tidus, despite herself. He looked like he had back when he'd been trying to think of ways to save her. This could _not_ be good. This would not bode wel-

"You know Yuna, I do still love and trust you, despite what you're doing to us right now. And I'd wager I always will, since we're those love birds I told you about—or the moon and the sun, like your father said—but Yuna... I can never trust you to be anything less than what you are: which is good and selfless. So in that, I _can't_ trust you to _take care_ of yourself, so like I promised, _I_ will guard you, and stay with you always.

"No, wait! Please- please don't say that, after I-" Yuna spluttered, as tears began streaming down her face, as she reluctantly remembered Tidus' story about his parents. Also she remembered when her father had always called her his "moon", and that even though she was mysterious and lovely, one day she would have to find a "sun" to love, so as to learn how to live and truly shine.

And, of course, Yuna had found her sun. In spades she never once would have dreamed possible. He was kind, and strong, and self-sacrificing and all of the things that she and Spira needed. But it would never be enough. Too much was stacked against him.

Now... now as Yuna looked at Tidus who was crying beside her, she realized the gravity of the situation. They would never be the same or okay again. And perhaps that was the trade-off for loving so strongly in the spiral of death that was Spira, but it wasn't fair. It wasn't fair at all.

And that was why, before Yuna could even stop herself, she began listing off other things that had been unfair: the problems they were having even when they _were_ together. And in some regards, maybe Yuna was hoping Tidus _would_ leave her, to make everything simpler.

But mostly... she wished that he would stay like he'd always promised he would. "But the main problem is you changed. You weren't the man I fell in love with, and you couldn't understand what I was going thro-"

"That's not fair, Yuna!" Tidus argued, as he ran a hand gently through her hair. And though Yuna knew he would never strike her, somehow the sweet gesture broke her even more than that would have, as even when she was acting like _this_... he still loved her more than anyone should have. "And you know it's not! You were so jealous- And after our time on that Island, you closed up. And the reason why I changed: I was having fun and enjoying our life together! Something you were doing, too, until you regressed."

It was then, when Tidus pulled away from Yuna both literally and with his words, that she realized just how bad certain things _had_ been between them. She'd never- she'd never even realized that Tidus had had issues with her, as they'd dated.

Though it hurt to hear this now, Yuna still couldn't believe their time together had been either bad or tainted. Rather, it had been far too perfect, with just a few speckles of reality thrown in, to keep them from flying off the handle completely.

How Yuna would have loved to go back to such a time now, but she knew she couldn't. And that- that hurt Yuna more than anything else ever could have. "But I had to regress," Yuna continued on, not even really sure what she was getting at, or why it even mattered anymore. "Because with you, I always have to be the mature one. Someone has to, and that always fell to me, so-"

"And you resent me for that?" Tidus asked softly, as he turned to face Yuna again, with a look of love in his eyes, that was like...

The way he'd looked at her, whilst they began falling in love during the pilgrimage.

The way his crossed arms brushed against hers unintentionally was also reminiscent of that innocent time, Yuna knew. And as such, she had to bite back the moan that was working its way up its throat, so she wouldn't alert him to the fact that she very much still loved him, and always would.

Still... even if Yuna couldn't tell Tidus how much she loved him still, and how wrong he was about certain things, she could still spare him some pain. And in realizing how much she'd been hurting him, ever since he'd died at the Island (and probably even before that), Yuna decided then and there that she didn't want to hurt the blond blitzball player anymore. Not if she could help it.

So trying to aim for subtlety, Yuna said as emotionally and quietly as she could, "No more than you resent _me_ for changing back." _Which isn't at all, since I know, that despite everything... you love me and forgive far more than you should. Oh, Tidus..._

"Y'know," Tidus said finally, as he ran his hands over his face, and leaned down on the bed that he and Yuna both occupied (and brushed Yuna's hand in a friendly manner with the motion, and though it was nice, it hurt Yuna in realizing it was _only_ friendly). "I'm tired, Yuna. Our days have been nightmarish lately. Hell, maybe they actually always have been here in Spira. But in the few days that we might have left... I want to spend them with you, like we did before. I don't want us to be like this, Yuna."

And just like that, all of the walls that Yuna had spent so long putting up came crumbling down. Perhaps it was because he was echoing what she herself had felt such a long time ago. Perhaps it was because their days _were_ numbered, and she wanted to have some happiness in her last days with him.

But most of all, Yuna realized with a sudden clarity that she was just wasting time in fighting a love like her and Tidus'. It was physically impossible to fight her feelings, and she didn't want to have to do it anymore. She was a terrible liar, anyway. They _both_ always had been.

Though she knew she was being as selfish as ever, Yuna couldn't imagine what it would be like to face the end without _him_. And so, holding onto the promise they'd made to always stay together, Yuna prayed that neither one of them would have to be without each other.

Lying down beside Tidus, Yuna tentatively put her head atop his chest, and when Tidus began running his fingers through her hair again, Yuna was astounded to find how right and home like it felt, even after everything.

And if the contended sigh that erupted from Tidus was proof of anything, he must have felt it, too.

Whispering into his chest lightly, Yuna admitted that, "I... I don't want us to be like this, either. And I suppose there's no use denying the truth: like my parents, I know I'll only ever love one person, no matter what that entails. And as I pledge my life to you, Tidus, I promise I'll come for you whenever you whistle. No matter what. It's my turn to protect you." And she would stand by that promise even if it killed her.

If Tidus' next words were anything to go by, Yuna found she might have to end up proving the truth of her words far too soon. Because looking at her like she had him the first time, and even using the same sort of annunciations, Tidus told her simply enough, "I love you."

Just like that, time seemed to slow down for Yuna, and she could practically see the gears turning in Tidus' head, as he remembered how Yuna had first told him that _she_ loved _him_, as he'd begun fading away.

Crawling atop him before she could truly even think, Yuna grabbed onto Tidus' arms desperately, and pressed his legs down, too, as if thinking that would help, if- if… "Tidus- Tidus, no!" _Don't continue that thought! If you- if you learn that you're a dream again. You're going to fade away. Please don't die on me again, Tidus. I don't think I could handle it a third time!_

Thankfully, Yuna thought she had probably stopped the blitzer's thoughts for the time being, as he looked up at her worriedly—no doubt thinking she'd completely lost her mind—and ran a hand over her arm, asking worriedly, "Yuna, what- Explain. Explain what's wrong _now_."

And it was through the searching look in his eyes, as they worried over her and only her, that Yuna realized he would never stop searching for the answer. If she- if she didn't do anything now, he would fade away just as she feared.

As Yuna began sobbing and shaking uncontrollably, she knew exactly what she had to do to save Tidus. And in the end, she'd known all along. Even if... even if she hated herself for it, and knew that she always would.

Pulling her arms out in front of her, and beginning to sing the Hymn of the Fayth and to Dance again, Yuna turned Tidus into an aeon.

And she explained hysterically, to a concerned Tidus, what she'd been holding back all along. "The truth- the truth is... that when we went to that Island... the blitzball you found was a bomb, Tidus, and it... and it killed you!"

And though Tidus jumped at that, and clearly reacted strongly and negatively to the news, it killed Yuna that through it all, he seemed more focused on running circles on her back to comfort _her_. It wasn't right. It wasn't what she deserved. She... she deserved to be condemned, and...

"I... I brought you back to life, by summoning your pyreflies, but you weren't _real_anymore. You were a dream again, and I knew that you'd disappear, if you ever found out the truth. So I pushed you away, after I realized you'd get the truth out of me, if we stated together. I mean, what else could I do? But more than that...

"You're my aeon now, Tidus. I can control you. And in some ways- you're not the person I fell in love with, because you're falling into what I, the Summoner, wants of you. And I... Oh, Tidus. I'm so sorry. All of this is my fault; Sin coming back… everything. I should have protected you better, or at the very least have cherished you more. This whole thing is so sick and wrong, and I'm so sorry that I failed you like this: that I can't protect you like you protected me, and that now... fate seems to want you back again, to die as the final—the only aeon—to bring the Calm again.

"In fact... the only way you won't fade away now in knowing this, is _if_I treat you as my aeon instead of a dream. And that isn't just or right at all; I've messed everything up, and I guess it just goes to show what a failure I am, right?

"And even after this, in knowing how awful I am and what I've done to Spira and you, I still want you to forgive me and love me. Isn't that the sickest thing of all? But then again, my love for you was always wrong. I'm so sorry, Tidus. I'm so sorry."

"Yuna..." Gulping, as Tidus' grip on her back got rougher, and Yuna wondered idly if Tidus might just stab her for what she'd done to him (which would be no more than she deserved), the High Summoner desperately tried to get a hold of herself, but it was to no avail.

For a long time, Yuna wondered if she or anything would ever be all right again. But when Tidus seemed to have finally had enough, and pulled her chin upwards to get her to look at him, the world stopped for Yuna like it always seemed to when Tidus was involved. And for a moment, as he began drying her tear-stained eyes, Yuna could breathe again. If only for a moment.

"Yuna, I'm not gonna lie. This completely sucks, and is just messed up as you're saying. In fact, I think I might have a heart attack from it. That is, if I actually still can, being dead and all, but... this _isn't_ your fault. It was an accident. And you... you just did the best with what you could—what anyone could have—in a situation like this.

"How you can think you're so selfish when you're anything but is beyond me, Yuna. I mean, if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't even _be_ alive now. You've given me life three times now, and I thank you for that, Yuna. Even more than I ever did the fayth, so please... please calm down and stop bearing things alone. If you want to figure this all out, share your burden with me again, okay? I hate seeing you like this."

Though Yuna wanted nothing more than to argue all of Tidus' points, and drive home just how monstrous she was even moreso, she found all she could do was cry, as Tidus pulled her into his arms completely, and they comforted each other.

Even if it wasn't at all perfect, Sin was back, and everything was more messed up than it ever had been. At least one thing was right that hadn't been in so long: they had each other again.

And though it was probably foolish and naïve to think so even now, Yuna couldn't help but think that every problem was smaller and possible to overcome, when they were together. They'd both faced great things before, after all. And wasn't her desire to be Spira's hope exactly why she had chosen to become a Summoner like her father in the first place?

Brushing her hands over Tidus', like she had when they'd first kissed in the Maccalania spring, Yuna decided that maybe believing in hope wouldn't be such a bad thing.

When Tidus squeezed Yuna's own hand in response, and pulled her face to his to share in the kiss they'd been devoid of for far too long, she knew that he felt exactly the same way. The sun and the moon were coinciding once again, and in that anything would be possible. They'd figure this all out somehow. Together.

And even if Yuna wasn't always sure of that, she knew that Tidus would always be there to remind her and guard her. And in the grand scale of things, that was really all that mattered. Truly. To have something to live for, to die for, but mostly... to have something to believe in. Not until the end, but always.

**Author's Note: So… I've always wanted to write more for Tidus and Yuna, but could never think of anything to do for them. Now I have, and I'm glad for it (as I really love this piece), but for the most part… I actually wish I wouldn't have had to write this.**

**This is my attempt at making peace with what's been revealed in the novella and audio drama. And I do feel that after writing this, I kind of have an idea of what the characters and writers are thinking, and how this COULD turn out well. But mostly… I'm still really irritated, and wish they'd just left it alone. I do feel a bit better about all of this now, though… a little bit, anyway.**

**Also, a lot of these details might be wrong. I mean, I listened to the audio drama, but I only know what I've heard about the novella from others. No doubt, a lot of it's wrong. And, of course, my attempting to guess what might happen in an X-3. It'd be pretty cool if I ended up being right, though… or not.**

**And if you couldn't tell, I also tried to fit in the problems Tidus and Yuna were having into this (i.e. Yuna being jealous of other girls around Tidus, and her thinking Tidus had changed). So I hope I did okay with that. I really wish I hadn't had to do that, though. –le sigh- But I think it sort of worked out, maybe…**

**I also tried to keep this ending from being too perfect, because Square's really effed up, and they still have a lot to work out… but I still want to see the strong and beautiful couple that I fell in love with, so meh.**

**Anyway, I don't really know where I'm going with this AN anymore, but I hope you guys enjoyed this? Or, at the very least, found some closure with this, like I did. **

**And here's hoping I can actually write a nice TiYuna (free of all of this new novella and audio drama garbage) soon, as I actually have some ideas now. Yeah…**

**Hope to see you guys around, and please review:)**

**-Shanna**

**P.S. I put this in the FFX section (though technically I probably should have put it in the X-2 section, since this takes place after it), because I think most people prefer FFX, and look up more fanfiction for it than X-2. Also, "X-3" seems closer in tone to X than X-2, and is rehashing some of the stuff from it, so I think putting it in the X section is the more reasonable choice. But if you think I should put it with X-2, just let me know and I'll be happy to move it over. Thank you.**


End file.
